Hey I Just Met You, And This is Crazy, But How’s Your Grammar?

The Google search bar can be a dangerous thing – for me, it’s what caused me to be up at this ungodly hour the night before I have to wake up at 5:30 to teach a bunch of riotous children the first day back from their spring break. Searching “ecards BYU better than UofU” somehow turned into “ecards grammar”…I won’t bore you with the long story of how that happened, but the results went from disturbing…

to inappropriate!

And then some got me thinking…

And led me to blog:

(bleep for the language!) about judging and dating.

As a high school English teacher I’ve had the opportunity to teach a Composition and Journalism class with part of the curriculum focusing on propaganda and advertising techniques/terms like band-wagoning, pathos, logos, ethos, stereotyping, assumptions, sexism,etc. But it wasn’t the boring English teacher stuff that got my wheels turning – it was what these ecards are saying about judging others, especially potential mates, by their grammar.

Whether we want to admit it or not, judging is almost always the first thing we do when we look at someone, and singles are the worst. If it’s not a physical judgment based on looks, it’s a judgment based on who they are BECAUSE OF their looks. Once that judgment is made, the personality/brains judgment is next.

Three of the above ecards stereotype women in their dating selections based on grammar, and the last one is basically saying that if you have bad grammar people will come to the conclusion that you’re stupid or uneducated. 

These ecards brought a series of questions into my mind: Will bad grammar ruin a guy’s chances at getting the girl? Do girls base their decision on dating a guy or not if his texts don’t have the proper punctuation and spelling? Does someone’s grammar make them more or less attractive? If you answered “yes” to that question, does that make you shallow? Does bad grammar automatically mean you’re uneducated? Does education matter when selecting a potential mate? Let’s look at a few scenarios before you give your final answer for these questions:

Scenario 1: Party. Guy spots attractive girl, approaches, turns on swag, gets number. Guy leaves. Guy 2 approaches. Same swag, same result. Girl receives two texts:

Guy 1: Hey gurl, wats up? Itz Guy 1 frm the party youre friend had last nite

Guy 2: Hi, this is Guy 2, we met at the party last night. How are you this evening?

What type of assumptions would you make? Are you attracted to one of the other more? If you had to make a decision who to go out with that next night based on the texts, who would you choose and why?

Scenario 2: Girl goes on date with Guy 1 Saturday afternoon for lunch, Guy 2 Saturday night for dinner. (Yeah, you just judged her as a player, I know.)

Scenario 3: 

Guy 1 Text: I had a grate time 2nite, your so beautiful. 

Guy 2 Text: Thank you for being such a gracious host and date tonight. You’re easily the best date I’ve had in months. 

Who are you digging more? Guys, you can imagine girls, alternately. But what if Guy 1 ends up being a chiropractor bringing over 100k a year while Guy 2 is an auto mechanic with a GED living paycheck to paycheck? Now the judgments have shifted from grammar to education tied in with money. Would you change your mind again? If you do, does that make you shallow?

No matter the scenario, judging and assuming rarely have good end results, but it’s arguably human to do so. Luckily, we are all different, and each of us is attracted to different things or has a different list of priorities. As an English teacher and writer, I will admit that guys who have good grammar earn more attractiveness points and are held in a higher educational regard; however, grammar in texts vs. grammar in a paper is taken with a grain of salt, and, Grammar doesn’t even make the top 20 on the list of important attributes I want in my husband. I’ll also argue that when you’re deeply in love with someone, a lot of the things that “bothered” you at first don’t seem to matter in the end. Sappiness aside…

Let’s return to the questions: 

Does bad grammar make you less attractive? If you answered “yes” to that question, does that make you shallow?

Do you base a decision on whether to date someone or not if they don’t speak or write at an “educational level”?

Does not having proper grammar mean you’re uneducated?

Does education matter when selecting a potential mate?

What qualities or attributes should be considered when looking to date? How do you determine their importance?

How important are looks/physical attraction?

I’d love to hear your thoughts, read your comments, and/or get more questions from you. Best of luck in love!


2 thoughts on “Hey I Just Met You, And This is Crazy, But How’s Your Grammar?

    • It seems pretty absurd, I know, but I’ve been accused of it before, as have some of my friends, both guys and girls. I’m not sure if it’s just something specific to my culture or not. I loved the article and am definitely stealing some things from it – giving credit where it’s due of course. Who knew about James Franco? It’s nice to think of him more positively than the last time I thought he had zero personality hosting the Oscars with Anne Hathwaway awhile back.

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