During dinner on our cheat day at Cheesecake Factory, my roommate and I got on the topic most twenty something year old single girls spend the most time discussing: boys. We were talking about past relationships in particular and she said something that made me think: “Guys say they want a girl with self-confidence, but few like a girl who will speak her mind or voice her opinion.”
I agreed that there indeed seemed to be a double standard. Many guys want a girl to help them feel secure in their manhood and insecurities, whether it’s manifested by a tall big guy dating a tiny petite thing or a genius dating a dumb blonde, but get really upset when we girls say things about being fat or whatnot. It seems difficult to know how much confidence to exude without scaring the boys away. To give guys the benefit of the doubt, I think they just want less nagging. But I digress…
Many of my close friends have told me that a reason they believe I’m still single is because I’m intimidating on a physical and intellectual level. I joke with them and say that I already keep my rugby cleats hidden and put blonde streaks in my hair, what more can I do? This isn’t about me, but suffice it say I’m far from the quiet, submissive airheads I see many of my guy friends go after, and I’m built like my Scottish ancestors before me.
Current pic, minus the blonde streaks 😉
In the culture my roommate and I date in, it’s pretty common to see guys go after young tiny little blondes who are going to hair or dental school or are lollygagging through their education because their first priority is marriage. In fact, most girls that are single within my culture are older, and incredibly accomplished women. I’m talking lawyers, psychologists, doctors, business tycoons, foreign ambassadors, girls with their Master’s and P.H.D.’s with big ol’ houses and fancy cars. I’ve spoken with many girls who admit they either hide their educational background from a guy initially or pretend to be dumber than they really are in fear or the guy not wanting to date them any further. When I first heard this I didn’t believe it – until I went on a date with a guy and was tempted to do the exact same thing!
Later that night, I thought of two movies that pertained to the situation, both oddly involving Keira Knightley: “The Duchess” and “Pride and Prejudice”. Although there are few arranged marriages between rich lords and ladies with titles nowadays, there certainly seems to be a whole lot more prejudices going around.
Guys want more swag and a hot girl on their arm. Girls want more nice things and a guy that looks like Channing Tatum.
It seems dating prejudice in our day has changed quite drastically from the good ol’ “Pride and Prejudice” days. To prove my point, I’ve taken bits from a scene from the Keira Knightley version of “Pride and Prejudice” and have added some modern truths to it in bold.
Mr. Bingley: Well, I think it’s amazing that you young ladies have the patience to become so accomplished.
Miss Bingley: Whatever can you mean, Charles?
Mr. Bingley: You all paint tables, and play the piano, and embroider cushions! I never heard of lady but people say she is accomplished.
Mr. Bling-ley: You all have someone paint your nails when you get em did, and play Wii Fit, and bling out your cell phones!
Mr. Darcy: Indeed, the word is applied too liberally. I cannot boast of knowing more than half a dozen young women in all my aquaintence who are truly accomplished.
Mr. Demsey: Fo sho, that word is too big. I can’t say I know more than five, maybe ten chicks that are really hot: Holly Madison, Megan Fox, Olvia Wild, Mila Kunis, and those girls in Playboy.
Elizabeth Bennet: My goodness, you must comprehend a great deal of the word.
Miss Bingley: Indeed; she must have a thorough knowledge of music, singing, drawing, dancing, and all the modern languages to deserve the word. And something about her air, and manner of walking….
Miss Bling-ley: Like totally, she must have a lot of knowledge and stuff in cooking, massaging, cleaning, dirty dancing, and all the love languages down to deserve the word. And something about her hair, and manner of refraining from talking…
Mr. Darcy: [glanced at the book in Lizzie’s hands] And, of course, she must improve her mind with extensive reading.
Mr. Demsey: [glanced at Lizzy’s assets] Word, and she must improve her body with plastic surgery.
Elizabeth Bennet: [closes the book she had been reading] I am no longer surprised at your knowing only six accomplished women, I now wonder at your knowing any.
Lizzy McBennet: [googles plastic surgeons nearby] I’ve never seen such a woman. Except in video games!
Mr. Darcy: You can only have two motives…Either way I can admire you much better from here.
Mr. Demsey: Would you mind bending over and picking up my trash? I can check you out much better that way.
Do I honestly think all guys are this shallow? No, I have big hopes that are still great guys out there. I just love sarcastic humor. Do I think there are girls who are just as bad in their own ways? Sure, I’ve met a few. But it’s hard to argue against the fact that guy’s prejudice’s have changed. Girls? We still want a Mr. Darcy. 🙂