Everyone has their own definition and opinion of what is hot or not, especially within the dating world. Facebook started off a rating system of “hotness” for goodness sake! This goes for not only physical appearance, but what people do or are interested in that is “hot or not”. I consider myself a bit of an anomaly when it comes to rating your standard girl, but you tell me. I am the oldest of 7 children. There are five girls and two boys, and the order is girl, boy, girl, boy, girl, girl, girl (<— the last three we older siblings affectionately dubbed “the three little girls”, though the youngest is now 15!). It has always been my belief that my father, if he had the chance, would trade in his girls and have 5 boys and 2 girls instead. This may sound harsh or unbelievable, but give me a paragraph to explain…
You see, I wasn’t raised like your typical girl. I started off “right”, taking ballet from pre-school age until about 7-8, played with Barbies, wore the dresses my mother sewed me, and lived to watch cartoons like Rainbow Brite, Jem, Lady Lovelylocks, etc. It wasn’t until we moved to a small town in northern NV that I realized my father started raising me as a boy. I don’t know if it was because he now had more girls than boys, but I started playing Zelda, Sega, N64, Super Nintendo, etc etc with my Dad, or watching him play. To this day, we own more video games than movies by far, and all 7 of us kids are “gamers” on some level.
I also got heavily involved with sports, starting with basketball and including softball/t-ball, volleyball, soccer, track, etc. I remember many of my Saturdays spent watching European football on DirectTv with my dad, along with 49ers and BYU football, etc. There was always either a sports game, or a video game, on my dad’s TV screen. When I wasn’t doing school or Church, I was playing a sport, or at a camp, or watching a game. My dad would lecture me for a good hour after each basketball game through my senior year of high school, oh, and every single practice of every sport too…Guys think this is hot, right?
We also spent a lot of time camping and doing lots of outdoorsy stuff. To this day I can set up a tent in no time, whip up a fire, etc, and that’s not because of Girls Camp. Now, in my mother’s defense, I know how to do all the “woman” stuff, like cook, clean, do my hair and nails, etc etc etc. But there is not a crafty/creative bone in my body. I hate the color pink, I ‘d rather by shot than have to make a quilt, paint a picture frame, scrapbook, decorate a home, etc. And I LOATHE shopping! I could care less about having twenty different outfits with matching purses, accessories, etc. I think I own 5 pairs of jeans, a handful of shirts and dresses, a few professional type outfits for teaching, and maybe ten pairs of shoes. No joke.
I’ve come to some realizations about myself because of all of this. One: I’m going to have to marry me a rich man (and I will call him Suga Daddy), and hire an interior decorator to stay an anomaly. Two: I’m going to have to hire someone to go shopping for me and bring my clothes in on a rack like those rich Housewives of whatevers do. And I’ll need a tailor because my body is so weird.
Number 3 is a matter of confusion for me, and brings me back to my title, “Hot or Not?”. Because I have been an avid gamer and athlete my whole life, I find myself talking to a lot of guys about it. In college, I would enter into Halo tournaments and destroy my all-male competition. I remember entering into one at one of my apartment complex’s, Carriage Cove. There were 4 TV’s, 16 screens, 1 loss elimination. I kept hearing shouts of “Who’s such-and-such?” They were yelling my gamer tag. When it was found out that the GIRL was beating them, there were such howls of protest as I had never heard. I got 2nd, losing to a guy who clearly did nothing but game; such a sweet spirit…
I also remember my days in the MTC, the Missionary Training Center, in Provo, UT. My favorite time was free time, when we got to go to the gym. At first, I would get on the treadmill or bike or walk around the gym like all of the other girls did, but it was KILLING me to watch the Elder’s play basketball. Yeah, I was a girl, but I was confident I could whoop up on ’em. So, I grabbed a few Elder’s from my district and dragged them into a game of lightning with me. I don’t remember how many people were in the game, but I am pretty sure it was close to fifty. Twenty minutes later it was just me and this big Native American kid left in the game with the rest of the missionaries in the gym surrounded and watching. We were both so tired we were jogging by now, but neither of us was missing a free throw. I won the game about ten minutes later when he bricked the ball and I sank my last free throw. The boys were, once again, howling in protest, but mostly shock.
I’ve also had a lot of positive reactions to these sides of me. I’ve had many guys tell me “that’s hot!” when I tell them I’m a gamer chic, or that I love to both play AND watch sports – minus golf and baseball on T.V. – yuck. Lots of Elders at that game were winking at me and totally flirting with me both at the MTC and on the mission. When I played co-ed volleyball at BYU, I got much of the same reactions with guys; heck, we’d even go run and weight lift together. I always smile and look bashful when they tell me such things, and sure enough, they invite me over to play Halo or COD or watch a game. But the strange thing has always been, these guys never make a move on me when we play or watch, nor do they pursue me or ask me out on a date. At one point I even bought a shirt (n yeah I still own it) that says “Girls are no substitute for a PlayStation” because it was like I was just one of the guys when we played. I could ask them if they’d give me $500 bucks and they’d say yes because they were paying more attention to the game than me.
So, it’s hot, but it’s like, buddy hot? Hot to watch me, or just the idea is hot? It gets you hot, but not hot enough to want to like, touch me or kiss me or date me? I DON’T GET IT! I have yet to have a relationship with a guy based off of these common interests. If something a girl does is hot, or you a girl she’s hot, she’s gonna think you’re into her the way that guys and girls are naturally into each other. Yet, no results?? Should they go bake you a pie with a cute little apron and massage your feet while you stare at a football game for two hours and then you’ll date them? Help me out here people. Any guys or girls have insight on this psyche?
I don’t think I’ll always be this way. Even nowadays I don’t play much multiplayer on Xbox, and I’m sure once I become a mother and want to nest and such that I’ll try my hand at more girly things. I will always like sports and I’m bound and determined to marry a guy I can sit and watch a game with – just be plain competitive with period! I don’t think I could be in a relationship that didn’t have that element to it, and making up after “fighting” about a game? Yeah!
I may never come to understand this mystery. But here’s a tip: Marry someone who will dub whatever you do “hot” rather than “not”.